The Thinking Other Woman

I've decided to just stay by myself and heal codependency. I'm fat and old, and I don't want another relationship. Fuck knows, I don't want to online date! I don't care if I never have sex with anyone again. I don't expect much in life anymore. All I'm going to do is work and pay bills and end up in a nursing home.

I was stupid enough to spend my whole life thinking Something Wonderful was going to "happen" and my life would suddenly get...

For the longest time, a married guy I had a four-month emotional affair with kept lurking around my website. 

Even when he started hiding behind a VPN, I figured out it was him, because he would go directly to a post or two I had made specifically to him when I was still trying to figure out if it was him or not, and he would read them over and over. ...

https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/post/making-changes-in-2022?postId=93b47984-ba85-4c14-a09c-3c2cbf776525

Oh, well.

https://medium.com/struggling-in-or-with-an-affair/turning-my-back-on-the-old-guy-in-the-new-year-5cd230108b7d" target="_blank">http://https://medium.com/struggling-in-or-with-an-affair/turning-my-back-on-the-old-guy-in-the-new-year-5cd230108b7d

Hi! Thanks for stopping by. I got your contact form, and sorry, but I don't know a Charlie. I'm not the droid you're looking for. 

This will be short, because I'm supposed to be asleep.

Since I posted the new message on Resources You Are Looking For and Will My XXXXXXX Area Visitor Please Stand Up, SOMEone has come directly to those postings (I can't even find them without using the search function on here!), seen the heading, and, once again, scat like light. He didn't even read the whole message. BUT, he HAS come back to l...

OK, I'm thoroughly confused.

This is the THIRD time someone on a mobile has come on the site, not gone to the main blog page and searched, or gone to any other page, and entered the site straight on one of the messages I posted up here for him, then gone straight to the other,

Google Analytics tells me this person is in PARIS. 

PARIS. What the fuck???

How are people doing this? Going str...

Looking along the long vista of transits I've researched, we're reaching the point of no return pretty soon, here. Even other people's card readings are saying the same thing. The next six to eight months are the fork in the road.

We've gone so long without speaking, we're on the point of just giving up on this connection. Which would make sense to anyone; I know I am. I mean, let's face it: When you haven't seen someone's face in six years and haven't ...

Spread One: Me:

This is a Celtic Cross spread.

Central issue: The Devil. Obstacle in the way: Knight of Wands. Goal: The Hanged Man. Foundation: The Moon. Passing Influence: Queen of Swords. Approaching influence: Hierophant reversed. Your role: The World. Environment: King of Pentacles. Hope, fear, unexpected element: Hermit reversed. Outcome: High priestess, reversed.

Chi: Death, reversed.

Rory: Celtic Cross again.

Central issue: Seven of Cups. O...

So it's come to my attention that on April 13, a person on a mobile phone came STRAIGHT here, went to The Resources You Are Looking For, then went to my other post where it looked as if the person in question had visited, (Will My XXXX Area Visitor Please Stand Up?), then back to the Resources post, and left ... after being here something like three hours.

Now, who would do that?

I have a pretty good idea, and I realize the difference in ...

So, as anyone can read, I was feeling pretty low a couple of days ago.

*sigh* If people never felt low, the occult pseudosciences would never have been developed. Because, at these low periods, we have NO answers. (If we did, we wouldn't feel as low, now would we?)

When we feel low, and there are no answers, that...

If I'm never going to be a real writer, I must at least have the dedication to be one, because I'm forever telling myself it's all over, no one reads this stupid thing on Wattpad and I might as well quit ... and the next thing I know I'm back on YouTube, watching birth and baby story videos because Ridley has a six-month-old and I have to write this young mother with a new baby and I never had a baby.

So I ran across

If you do the right thing, they say, you are supposed to create good karma.

If you create good karma, things are supposed to get better.

You’re supposed to see that you were far better off without the guy. You’re supposed to have far more fulfilling experiences. You’re supposed to see how wrong t...

Hmm, turns out the birth time does affect transits to the Davison. At the other time I tested, the Davison still gets some mean hits, but not nearly as many or as bad. So, I could be wrong. Who knows? 

(I have the first child's birthdate and the wedding date. One day I should use these to rectify the birth chart. I wonder what time I would actually end up with?)

**OK, so that was what I finally sat down and did. I looked at...

So I keep reading about all the interesting things happening in the heavens right now. I am in the middle of a six-week basic astrology course, to help me identify the stuff I didn't run across as I have been mostly teaching myself. All that stuff you read about "Mercury retrograde," etc. is called "mundane astrology." Why? I don't know. It sure ain't reflecting anything mundane right now! It's very interesting as my teacher, a young astrol...

I woke up this morning with this one realization:

Everything I have ever wanted in life was a child's understanding of how to get a child's developmental needs met.

I was an unloved child, and I needed parents and family and friends to love me.

...

I noticed something very interesting, looking at the good leg/bad leg transits for this relationship.

It may very well be that a good portion of the relationship transit legs actually go with the choice we had to end the marriage and be together back in 2016. Remember that there was a whole good leg where I was in a relationship and very happy. Then, if you will recall, it sort of ...

I've had a pile of page views on here this week. Unfortunately, the locator map isn't working, so I have no clue where anyone is from.

Yesterday, Mars went direct.

(Actually, I had heard both the 13th and the 14th, but it's definitely direct by now.) In six weeks (right about Christmas Day), it will hit the yods one more time and then clear on out of here. Nothing else important will hit the yods for th...

I was in so much better a mood when I started that last post. For a short moment, I could see my life as so much better than I've been seeing it, and I could feel happy. But, I had to be somewhere, and I had to stop writing, and I couldn't get back to it, and ...

I had to go back to work. And I was there all by myself. And it was like that for three days. And my days were d-r-a-i-n-i-n-g. And I dragged myself ho...