|Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on September 11, 2020 at 9:30 PM|
So Nu Mindframe put up her September readings this week. Yup. Here are these predictions AGAIN.They're all about a relationship that broke up despite good intentions on the part of those involved to build something together. Because something was standing in the way, the people didn't have the tools to build the relationship ... and now, here the relationship is again. How we had a separation and it was a good thing, because the same cycle would have repeated if we'd gotten back together in 2017.
And THAT'S why I said no three years ago ... because I looked at the transits and saw that very sad story played out.
Good grief ... How many times am I going to hear this? Mars hits Saturn again on the 30th, so ...
It's kind of weird hearing this now after all this time. For years now I've thought it would be THE happiest day I've had in a long time. And, when I saw him show up on the 28th, I was thrilled ... for about ten minutes.
Now that I'm being told it's right around the corner ... I don't know. All these years I clung to the fantasy of what I hoped would happen. I still needed to be that much-beloved younger child-person who finally had someone bigger, someone stronger, a family, someone to lean on.
But, now that I know what's really over there: a codependent who gets lost in everyone else's feelings and doesn't know his own, one who covers his feelings with oil paint instead of being able to reflect and know what he wants, one who instinctively alters his own feelings to match those of everyone around him because he thinks approval and love are the same thing ...
One who says, "Whatever you want, dear," doesn't even know he's unhappy for five years, then pushes the awareness down for five more years, then when he finally acknowledges that he's unhappy, he resents you because YOU "made him do it" ...
Ohhhh, boy. For the seventeen years I knew the person before all this happened, he looked so different. And then I believed it for, like, three more years.
Ohhhh, but now I know.
I also know this person has the stuff to change. This person, unlike my mentally ill mother, has the stuff to do better. However, I know this does not happen now under any circumstances. This person has three more years of hard work to do. He doesn't get his good emotional work transits for another three years or so. If I see him, I'm gonna get dumped. NO doubt about it.
Besides, although I longed to get the chance to discuss this with the person for all these years ... if he shows up this time, she finds out.
We do not get out of this without her finding out this time.
And that's some scary shit. It isn't scary in fantasy when it's three years away, but when it's looming up in three weeks, and you might have all this responsibility for other people's welfare placed in your hands ... that. Is. Sobering.
(I wish Donald Trump took his responsibilities with half the solemnity and responsibility I feel right now.)
I know why Rory is the way she is. I know she isn't a mean person, and I don't hate her. I know she's a wounded person, and that's why she does what she does. But, she needs a fire lit under her ass if she's ever going to wake up, and make no mistake about it, these transits are the last time in her life she's going to have to wake the fuck up in this matter. She had good ones before, and due to the attitudes of both Rory and therapist, these opportunities got wasted.
She needs the wakeup call, and I'm the wakeup call.
This will not be a pleasant duty. Oh, for all the times I fantasized about chewing her out back in the day! But I didn't know what reality was at that time ... and now I do. Being the instrument of someone else's broken heart is not really what I want to do.
Then again ... if she doesn't wake up, she's going to be the instrument of her own broken heart.
Ai, ai, ai. What a mess if this really happens. What a mess, what a mess, what a mess. She's going to hate me, his kids are going to hate me, everyone who knows him is going to hate me.
And I don't even want this guy! Not the way he is now. The way he is now, he can't have a real relationship with anyone ... because he doesn't have enough access to his real self to avoid going a looong way down a road that will make him unhappy ... before he even wakes up and realizes he's unhappy!
This is one toxic and dangerous trait that's probably the worst you can be with in a relationship. Because it ruins everything silently for years and years while it looks like everybody's happy. And HE KNOWS IT'S HAPPENING ... but he won't tell you.
This would never have happened with my late husband and me. He knew himself too well, and he always put up his dukes and fought for his happiness. On the surface, that looks like a terrible thing in a relationship, because it often leads to fighting.
But, while we're fighting, I know you and you know me. We are under NO illusions about What Really Is. Because if we don't know what's really true about our relationship and about the other person, we can't possibly, possibly make good decisions for it. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I'm not going to fuck up and fall for some indication from this guy that he's really going to leave or really ready to leave. So far these charts have never steered me wrong, and they are elaborately clear: THIS GUY'S NOT READY YET. STAY THE FUCK AWAY.
So my job, should all these predictions be true, is clear. I am not allowed to try to poach this guy, or to entertain any thoughts of him leaving the marriage at this time.
I am allowed to do one thing and one thing only: Push the system toward greater health.
That's going to be the tricky part, because I won't have any specifics until I get there, and then I'm going to have to think on my feet. All I can say is that I have an idea right now what "greater health" looks like, and that would be: Me moving on for the next three years alone. Me impressing upon this person how very, very very important it is that this individual find a therapist who specializes in getting stuck codependents unstuck, and overcome his allergy to learning about his condition. And leaving him once again in the care of his wife, who's going to get one nasty wakeup call if her transits over the next year are at all accurate.
All I can do for the greater health of this situation is share everything I've been given to understand about it over these five and a half years. If she knew what I know, no doubt she'd find herself a whole lot more willing to apply herself. If she does not, the consequences will be dire, and I won't be anywhere around when they happen. I took a look at her transits for her late seventies. I wouldn't want to live those motherfuckers for all the whiskey in Ireland.
This really is the last chance these two people have to Wake The Fuck Up. How he does at the end of his life depends on the groundwork that gets laid now. Does he Get The Fuck Well Or Not? The best thing I can do here is explain this in no uncertain terms. This is one reason I've elected to show my work here on this website. If she wants to know, she can come and read. So can he.
If these warnings come to pass, I've got a big crunch time of tough work ahead these last few months of the year. Then it's time for me to sling my pack over my shoulder and trudge off down the road alone again. And they've got Some Big Time Work to do. Biggest time.
Apparently, I'm going to be writing.
My occult sources tell me I'll have quite the story to tell. It could very well be a harrowing one. When faced with the horrible specter of some guy's wife or kids accosting me in a parking lot or over the phone, I'd almost as soon let this one pass.
Let's see if any of it's true or not.